It must have been almost more than half a decade ago, the last time I shared my thoughts in a written form on a personal blog. I was 16 when I started my first personal blog, and during the span of it I have made some friends/colleagues through it. At that time, by immersing myself in the net world, I believe that I found an escape from my unpleasant high school life.
I was around 20 years old when I stopped writing on the blog. I was in college at that time, studying Law, and my days were either spent catching on a lot of reading materials, writing papers for assignment or working on group projects aside from catching up with social obligations to mingle with my peers.
Surely, without noticing it, I have put my writing habit in the back-burner.
But even back when my blog was still active, I have never elaborated my thoughts in a writing which exceeds 250 words per post. Fiction was more comfortable to write for me. Telling an imaginary story from a fictional character’s perspective on things was way more easier and fun. Telling the reality of my own life or my thoughts, especially in detail, is something I was eager to avoid.
Something had sparked me to try, this time. It was week ago, when one conversation with a colleague took an interesting turn. We talked about writing and literature mostly, also how I used to write a lot and how there was a time when my writing was eloquent enough to be published. We also proceeded to talk about some of our personal view in regards of some issues.
And thus became a single, yet somehow passing, event which inspires me to think about it further.
Why did I stop writing? Why do my occupation stops me from writing again? Should I write again to sort my thoughts into words?
I did put my thoughts into words, see, I’ve been keeping a journal right beside me so that I can dispense how I feel into it. Yet, when I re-read it, I noticed how what I’ve written down in that journal was some incoherent words that came first into my mind when I experienced something. It’s practically nonsense.
Such thing can be proof that the way my mind works when they process a single event can be quite erratic, as I can feel a lot of emotion and experience so many thoughts while I take an extended period of time to evaluate how I think and feel about said event. What helped me at that time, after the talk with my colleague, was a silent car ride through Jakarta’s horrendous traffic to sort my erratic train of thoughts into a coherent contemplation and also a conversation via instant messaging platform with a friend later on, further helped me to sort some of my thoughts into an actionable objective.
I decided that I should write down my thoughts, in a coherent manner, especially when it may help me to sort how I feel and how I should react in regards of some events that have happened or may happen in my life.
I deemed that a personal blog should be a suitable medium for doing this compared to other mediums. Except for the fact that I’m more familiar with this medium, I chose it for other reasons also. I personally perceive that a personal blog is a medium that has the smallest chance to limit me from elaborating my perspective due to various reasons, including limitation of character counts or the fact that there is no covert necessity to keep a certain facade of me to people who may not be bothered enough to read the extent of my thoughts.
John Berger wrote in his book titled ‘Way of Seeing’ in which I derived the title of this blog from:
Yet, although every image embodies a way of seeing, our perception or appreciation of an image depends also upon our way of seeing.
When I read that, something clicked because I finally figured out how I shall exploit this space. I decided that, my personal perspective on things shall be the main theme of this space I created. The way I perceive things, the way I see things. I created this space solely to let this space to be my safe space to speak out my thoughts, even if some of it may be deemed as peculiar, I want to write down my thoughts regarding those things.
No matter how mundane my thoughts may be, or how peculiar my perception of certain topics, all of those things mattered and it would be written down in here, this space.